Christmas Slideshow

Merry Christmas

Powerful

Straight vs. Curly

Nate informed me tonight that when I wear my hair curly, it makes my face look much better...emphasis on "much"....

I'm not even sure if that was an insult or compliment...?

My Dog

Who Is Your God?

I wrote this for something else, but figured I would share...

This is my God...He is a God in a league of His own...A God who reigns on His throne in Heaven and rules over everything...He controls all things and can accomplish anything by just speaking the word...And although He could have saved us and rescued us from our tragic eternal destiny by merely demanding it, He chose in His own tender way to interact with us...to humble Himself and become one of us...My God became a man...He sat with sinners and men who scoffed Him. He reached out to the lowest on the social ladder. He met woman at the well and hypocrites in the synagogue. He offered eternal life to thieves, adulterers and murderers...My God is a personal God who offers a personal relationship with Him...He works in indescribable, unexplainable ways and His life and death prove this...He wrote His own story and could have chose any other plot, but He chose to become the Sacrificial Lamb who takes away the sins of the world. My God never fails. He never leaves you. He is the true essence of what love is. He offers new life...and life abundant. He is the origin of Joy, Hope and Peace. He rescued my soul and restored my spirit. He met me in my dark room and turned on the light. He is my Creator, my Savior, My Redeemer...He is my calm in the storm. He is worthy of my service, my gratitude, my praise and my worship. This is my God...the God who became flesh and dwelt among us.

Day Five

This will probably be the last post for a while about the health and fitness challenge...why? because it is boring to read about eating healthy almost as much as it is eating healthy...I'm going to continue my challenge and update you here and there, but I'm not dedicating every post to it.

I ate really good today...it could be the fact that I gained two pounds over the weekend! (stupid chinese food) But every day is a new day and I chose to eat healthy!!

One thing I have to work on is drinking more water. The benefits of drinking water are huge...including reducing the risk of certain cancers, cleansing your body of toxins...Plus, you just feel better when you are properly hydrated. When I worked at LA, I drank over 64 oz a day with no problem...but once you stop doing that it is hard to get back into it...It really does take a conscious decision.

What is your favorite healthy snack?

Day Three and Four...etc

Yikes! Yesterday was NOT a good day "food-wise"...I rationalized that banana bread was healthier than pumpkin bread...ate Chinese food for lunch...and had the ever so convenient fast food for dinner...So, yesterday was a complete disaster...nutritionally anyways. I haven't had chocolate yet though!!!

Today's Challenge for myself is to just not eat junk today!

Church was a blessing last night. I love when Mike preaches!! An excellent reminder of God as a Wonderful Counselor...I intend on increasing my wonder....which will in turn decrease doubt.

Day Two

So, I already miss chocolate AND pumpkin bread and wonder what on earth am I going to eat for breakfast and lunch now...



Physical Challenge: Do 25 of this awesome Pilates exercise...It is called the perfect curl and it was my favorite Pilates move that Ari taught me.



Perfect curl: Knees together, feet slightly wider than hips, toes turned in, and fingers interlaced behind head.



Exhale as you lift your head and chest up off the floor. Inhale on the way back down. Keep your head a couple inches of the floor at all times.

Some things to remember:

1). Inhale through your nose, deep exhale out your mouth...like you are fogging a mirror.

2). Always draw your stomach back toward your spine

3). Quality over quantity! You will gain more benefits through slow, controlled movement.

4). Adjust the exercises so that they are comfortable for you. You should feel tired but never in pain.

I hope you enjoy this one because I love it!



Nutritional Challenge: Keep a record of everything you eat and drink including condiments and the little things you pick at between meals...you would be surprised about how many calories are wasted on pointless things that don't even satisfy.



Spiritual Challenge: What is your favorite Bible verse and why?



So, I danced to "Shackles" by Mary Mary ...I just couldn't think of anything else and that was always fun at Bible College and at Young Married Beth Moore Retreats :)



What did you dance to?

For your viewing pleasure...

Day One

Physical Challenge: This won't be hard at all! At some point today, find your favorite song and get off your butt and dance to it...

Nutritional Challenge: Think of the one thing that you eat excessively that is a complete waste of calories and cut your intake of them in half today...enjoy it because tomorrow we are saying "goodbye"...I'm saying "goodbye" to chocolate and pumpkin bread...I've been eating it everyday lately.

Spiritual Challenge: Read 1 Timothy 4:8 and remember that there is no point in fixing up our outsides if we are not pretty on the inside.

I Challenge You!...

Well, I'm mostly challenging me...I'm feeling a 30 day health and fitness challenge...who's in? Don't worry, it won't be too challenging because I will be doing it too...


Disclaimer: you are not guaranteed any results at all...I just think it would be fun if we were all (however many of you actually read this) doing the same thing everyday not necessarily at the same time. Let's start tomorrow...check back for your first daily challenge!...hmmm...I have to make one up first...I'm kinda doing this on a whim...should be fun.

Happy Birthday!

Welcome to the world, Ava Grace Tucker!!

Born December 1, 2008
7lbs. 4 oz. 20 in.

We waited to see your perfect face for so long now and you are finally here!

Here are some words used to describe Ava...PERFECT, PRECIOUS, LITTLE, WONDERFUL IN EVERY WAY, AWESOME, MIRACLE, SO COOL, LOVEABLE, KISSABLE...all of them fit so perfectly. She is each and everyone of these to the fullest extent!

Shaun and Ashley: I am so proud of you! It is not easy to wait for God's perfect timing, but you did it! Remember the journey and God's guiding hand through it all! I am so excited about your new little family of three!

Tag You're It!

I was tagged for a meme by Hil at The Gleam of Rose Tea. The tag is to grab the nearest book, turn to the 123rd page and write sentence 5,6,7,8.

So...nearest book is "Ruthless Trust" by Brennan Manning.
Sentence 5 is kinda catching him in the middle of his testimony, but here it goes:

"Simply present yourself to God, clinging to nothing but your humanness. And so the hours of prayer became a death to all past achievements and any identity not grounded in truth. Soon, I discovered that, in addition to alcohol, I had developed a second addiction: ministry. The attention and recognition that come from writing and preaching, teaching and counseling, had become my latest drug of choice."

I love this book because Manning has a way of being poetically intelligent and transparently honest. He talks openly about his addiction to alcohol and uses it in counseling others. This book is about trust in God that allows you to be thankful for everything...the good, bad, the ugly. It is a recommendable read.

The Night Before, The Day Of and the Morning After

I love Thanksgiving!! It is by far the best holiday in every way!

1. no costly presents
2. no stress due to the hectic schedule of shopping
3. the food :)
4. the company
5. the praise

I was very excited to hear about the return of "praise and pie night" this year! It has always been a tradition at our church to praise God for all the blessings of the past year...testimonies of God's grace and strength through financial, health and spiritual hard times. God always seems to be faithful and comes out the Hero every time. In the years of my childhood, we not only had praise but following the praise we had pie!! Due to the growth of our church we weren't able to accommodate the pie eating part, but thanks to our new activity center, we are back to the wonderful activity of hunting for the most delicious pie and then devouring it. I love pie.

Thanksgiving Day was splendid! My Mom never lets us down in the food department. The table is always decorated so nicely and the food satisfies every tasty need...it also represents every color so even your plate isn't bland. Thanks, Mom!

Instead of falling asleep on the couch right after, we all worked off the calories with 6 vigorous hours of Rock Band...that's right, SIX HOURS!!

Now to the day after..."Black Friday"...

Black friday brings out the crazy in many people. First off, waking up at 3:30 in order to arrive at Kohl's for the opening sale at 4AM is...well...crazy! And yes, I was one of them...I was so disoriented I unfortunately was not able to concentrate enough on any deals or even my Christmas shopping list...my mission was unsuccessful. Many woman were coming in with elbows flying...they might as well put bricks in their pocketbooks. We went to Walmart right after and there were some good deals, but I don't really think black friday is worth the loss of sleep unless you have children since that is where most of the deals are. We stood in line for two hours! I opened a pack of Dr. Scholl's and wore them while I was in the line. When I got to the cashier, she agreed that was smart thinking.

I would rather buy full price.

So, I'm thankful for my family...every single person in our family could be a character in our very own sitcom! Love them. I'm so thankful for my husband! Many couple don't make it through the emotional strain that we have gone through the last year and I feel incredibly blessed that he still stands beside me. I'm thankful that God gave me the most wonderful opportunity to be a mother to the most amazing miracle. I've learned more about God from Zachary than probably anyone else I've ever met. I'm thankful that God always provides...even when the economy is unstable, His promises are sure.

Hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving!

Love This...

I can't help but think of Aaron and Zachary when I hear this song...

Tear Jerker

I forget where I got this from, but I love it! Grab some tissue...

For our little man, Zachary Kyle...

Precious, tiny, little one
You'll always be to me
So perfect, pure and innocent-
Part of Heaven's family

We dreamed of you and your life
And all that it would be
We waited and longed for you to come
And join our family

We never had the chance to play,
to laugh, to rock, to wiggle
We long to hold you, touch you now
And listen to you giggle

I'll always be your Mother,
He'll always be your Dad
You will always be our child,
The child that we had

But now you're gone...but yet you're here
We sense you everywhere
You are our sorrow and our joy
There's love in every tear

Just know our love goes deep and strong
We'll forget you NEVER-
The child we had but never had,
And yet will have Forever!

A Quote for You

So...here's a quote for your reading pleasure...The guy who said it was a Catholic priest...I'm not Catholic (duh) but I do find this quote encouraging...here it is...

"Do not look forward to the changes and the chances of this life in fear;
rather look to them with full hope
that, as they arise, God, whose you are
will deliver you out of them.
He has kept you hitherto,-
do you but hold fast to His dear hand,
and He will lead you safely through all things;
and, when you cannot stand,
He will bear you in His arms...
The same everlasting Father who cares for you today,
will take care of you to-morrow, and every day.
Either He will shield you from suffering,
or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.
Be at peace then,
and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations."
Francis de Sales (1567-1622)

Commitment

I have recently decided to make a commitment to the organization of my home. Since we've moved here two and half years ago, our house has always been undergoing renovations. The state our home is in right now is unsightly...I hardly ever let anyone in it...unfortunately, I can't blame the "unsightliness" of it on the renovations...Yes, we have a completely hideous kitchen with pink...let me say that again...PINK cabinets and PINK countertop...we also have some nasty stick on tile for our floor...We got spontaneous one day and ripped down most of our wood work down off the frames of the doors...never to be replaced. The beginning of this year, we become compulsively eager to start a new project (like there weren't already that needed finishing) and we knocked down a wall! That room is still a complete disaster! So, now that you get the picture...let me get back to what I was saying...unfortunately, I can't blame the "unsightliness" of it on the renovations...I must blame it on myself!! I have not kept the house organized because I felt a little hopeless...like there was no purpose for trying. There is absolutely no reason that clothes can't make it to the closet and that things don't have a place to go...everything should have a home. When I still lived at home (mom and dad's), I was a neat freak...well, everyone once in a while my room would get a little crazy, but I always made sure to clean it and then I was a nazi about it. What happened to that person? It's not like a loosened up! It has secretly been bothering me since we've moved here...stressing me out! So, I spent a good portion of my night cleaning out my closet...and even though my back is sore...I'm really happy I invested this time...It makes me feel better about my house...and myself.

...Plus, I found a TON of clothes I totally forgot about!!!

What big projects have you been putting off?

One of Those Days

I'm just having one of those days...you know the kind, I'm sure...

The kind when you wonder why the Dunkin' Donuts lady never gets your order right even though you order the same thing every day...

The kind when the phone doesn't stop ringing...

...the work never stops piling...

...no time for lunch til 3pm...

The kind when you wonder whether you are the only person in the universe who knows how to change a roll of toilet paper...

Thank goodness for my good hair day otherwise today would have been a total loss.

How is your day going?

Halloween Awards of 2008

Ok, so I do not "celebrate" halloween or "believe" in halloween...but I WILL dress up in a costume and go to a party on the same night as it...I decided to pass out awards for the most interesting costumes for each category. I have taken my husband and myself out of the running since that would seem a little unfair...since I am the only judge. Nate's costume was a little creapy though...

but I love him anyways...

(kiss)

First category: Funniest!!
Bride and Groom: Laura x 2

Second Category: Cutest
This award must go to ...
Super Mario and Luigi: Shaun and Ashley


Third Category: Most Disturbing
The Babies/Old Men: Matt x 2 + Ed (not pictured)
I agree, there should be some degree of shame...but I didn't detect any...

And...

One more picture of the girls...
Hil, Tara, Me, Jilly and Ashley

Today I Saw a Rainbow!

Today, I saw a full half rainbow! It went from one side of the highway to the other...Here are my thoughts in they order they entered my mind...

First, I instantly thought of the story of Noah's Ark and how God used the rainbow as a symbol of the covenant between Himself and Noah...Then, that started me thinking about God's promises to His children...then, that got me thinking of my Zachary because his name means "The Lord remembers His promises" and I learned A LOT about God's promises from Zachary...then, I started thinking about my Rainbow Bright doll and wondered what ever happened to it...

Tonight, I bought Zachary's Christmas ornament...It's really plain and simple...just silver writing "HOPE"...I love it and will have to break our tradition of NOT having a Christmas tree in order to use it!

You may now be wondering why we have a tradition of NOT having a Christmas tree...Well...we didn't really start it on purpose...we had a tree the first year we were married, but moved a couple days before Christmas. Our Christmas tree was in our empty apartment and we were already living in our new apartment by Christmas...The second year, we decided not to have one because our apartment was ridiculously crowded! The third year, we didn't want to deal with our dog eating the ornaments and destroying the tree. Fourth year, I think we just thought "Hey, that just seems like a lot of work" and last year...we just didn't want one! For those of you who really didn't care about any of the above...thanks for continuing on...

I have finally quit my flip-flops...the weather no longer permits...I have drastically changed from flip-flops to boots and I must say...I love boots...so far it is my favorite part of the weather! Here is my fashion side note: Why are all the sweaters short-sleeved? I know it is cute, but do these designers know what winter is like in New England?! I need as many layers as I can get...and when I'm freezing, I care less about what is cute and more about what is going to keep me toasty!
This past Sunday was Zachary's birthday! I thought it would be hard, but it really wasn't harder than any other day...my memories of Zachary are wonderful...even my memories at the hospital, as terrifying as they were, are happy memories because they remind me of the events that brought Zachary into our lives. We celebrate his life...his 18 days were filled with so much love and I will NEVER forget him!! I wish all of you could have met him, but you will someday...

Ok, well...stay warm...stay safe...heard there might be snow!

P.S. That was my first picture ever posted on my blog...I could never figure it out! That picture is titled "Zachary's Scrunched Up Nose"...isn't it cute?

Shooting Stars

Nate always sees shooting stars...like weekly! I don't think I've ever seen one. Either he is making them up, confused by a space shuttle...or he is, in fact, seeing a shooting star! Tonight he tried to slow me down to wait for another one...I was like, "Come on, babe...I'm cold...you have the keys!"

Spread above us is one of the most amazing displays of God's creativity and design...and I'm too busy to notice...

I hear shooting stars are quite common...you just have to look up...so, I'm starting to wonder...what other beautiful things am I missing out on?

Hello? You still there?

So, I haven't written on here in so long...I wasn't sure if I even remembered my password to even write a new blog. I've been away for a while...not on vacation....just away from "blog world". I kept thinking, "Could I blog about that?!" I was constantly looking for different angles and then decided that it would come to me eventually...not everything I write has to be inspired.....sorta like this blog entry, I guess. See, I still have nothing to say...I'm just posting so you know that I'm still alive and that I'm getting back into the swing of writing....

While I'm here I might as well talk about all the stuff I did this summer...

Well, for starters, We went to the beach practically every weekend. We didn't go at all last summer because N had so many side jobs. He kinda put side jobs to the side....and enjoyed this summer. There are innumerable benefits of enjoying nature and fresh air....but the huge one for me is getting rid of my pasty white skin (although, it is already coming back).

We went to King Richard's Faire for the first time. That was really cool except I kept finding myself wanting to curtsy and dress up Renaissance...when I got home I looked through my closet to see if there was anything I could re-style so that I could wear it next year if we go...turns out GAP doesn't make anything that remotely looks like Renaissance! It was nice to be in a different century for a day...

We went to what feels like a million Red Sox games...actually, as I write N is at one now...(I gave up my ticket). JH gave us awesome seats several times...we were able to witness John Lester's No-Hitter and to top it off, we were seated in the Home Plate Pavillion...seats couldn't be more perfect. The last game we went to JH sent Wally the Green Monster up to visit...makes a cute picture!

We went to Kentucky to visit N's Mom and Dad and to meet their new puppy Honey. We shot a lot of guns and had a lot of time to relax...My favorite restaurant when we visit there is Carter Caves. They have a buffet for lunch on Sundays....Mmmmm....turkey and gravy is so good!

I spent more time at the range with N...I'm getting pretty competitive with the rifles although I can't shoot anything but the ground 20 ft in front of me with a pistol. Watch out! If you break into my house, I won't reach for the pistol... :)

Hmm...I can't remember anything else...just good times with family and friends...I don't want this summer to end at all! I like Fall, but right after Fall....WINTER!!! Ugh! The only thing I like about winter is cuddly sweaters, boots...and that's it! I hate the uncontrollable shaking when you get in and out of the car...I really don't like shoveling our four car driveway...and I don't like worrying about N getting stuck on the highway for 9 hours with no heat (that actually happend last winter...)

But back to the positive side...

I had an awesome summer and I hope you did too!

Memory...I can smile at the old days...

Lately, I've been reminiscing a little of the "good ole' days"... the younger days when my biggest problem was that I got a detention for chewing gum (ok, well to be fair they did give me three tries, but I never really learned my lesson). I was looking through my high school yearbooks this week and as I read through the summer wishes from classmates and inside jokes from close friends, I realized that I don't really remember very much at all. Certain references to things that back then were so funny (obviously they would have had to be funny to a certain degree to make it into the yearbook as a summary of the year) and to be honest, I couldn't even remember what some things meant! This made me sad! I loved high school and wish I could remember more of the fun times...however, I also loved moving on from that stage in my life too. I feel like I need a reunion just so I can ask people, "What does this mean?" I will be the nerd walking around making notes in my old yearbooks. I bumped into someone from high school about two years ago and they couldn't even remember who I was! (I was hoping that I was a little more memorable than that! Especially since we had the same circle of friends) At that point, I had only been out of school for six years! Will we eventually forget everything?

Today, I found a scar on the bottom of my foot and I can't remember where it came from. Wouldn't you think I would remember something like that? It's not like it's everyday that you get an injury on the bottom of your foot...plus, it would have caused an inconvenience of some type as far as walking. To me, this should have stuck out in my memory...but it didn't.

Private side bar: That didn't make me as sad as forgetting the inside jokes from high school.

To be honest, I don't really know where this post is heading. Although, as I was reading last night, I found a little passage that somehow connected with me. Here it is....

"I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done."

This was a Psalm from David found in chapter 143 verse 5.

I realize that there is a lot of things that I will want to remember and may, without knowing, forget...and there are a lot of things I will want to forget and even if I tried wouldn't be able to. All of us have scars and most of them we probably can't remember where they came from...and then there are those that bring back a memory....a story.

My hope is that in twenty plus years from now, if I don't remember this post...I will at least "remember the days of long ago". That I will meditate and consider what God had done in my life during this time in my life. That I will be able to think back and recall the times that He was so presently and actively working in my life. That the "scars" of my life will trigger a memory or testimony of God's faithfulness to me. That through the high peak times, I will see Him carrying me just as much as the low valley times. God has done great things!

Read Psalm 136 and you will see how He truly is mighty, faithful and all-powerful and through it all "His love endures forever.

June 30th

There are 365 days in a year....sometimes 366....and every single day marks an icon for either a positive or negative memory for someone out there. June 30th marks a positive day for Amanda and Chris who celebrate their first anniversary together and also for Josh who celebrates his birthday....Celebrations shared on the same day that is also filled with sadness and grief. Today marks the second anniversary of the death of Aaron Kyle Cooper and although we celebrate that we know he his in Heaven, there is still such a loss. I just wanted to publically say how grateful I am for the Cooper's profound message of hope that they proclaim even when I'm sure it is so very difficult to bare at times. They have distantly given me strength and encouragement through my own grief giving me a godly example of perseverance, courage and strength. Memories of Aaron stay fresh and will never be forgotten.

So, CONGRATULATIONS to Amanda and Chris!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Josh!
And SEE YOU AGAIN to Aaron! Take care of my Zachary and see you soon!

What is that stuff anyways?

I often play these little games like "If you were an animal, you would be a...", "If you were a color....", "If you were a car..."....They pass the time and are very entertaining. I've decided that if I could choose the material of which I was made that I would like to be made from the stuff that ear plugs are made of. Is that weird? Well, think about it....you can smush them down and twist it and it doesn't appear to be affected. I made it as small as I could and eventually it just popped right back to original form. I'm fascinated by this. Even when they accidentally make their way to the washing machine and dryer....they just get bigger....I think they might still be usable! This made me think of that verse that talks about being "troubled on every side..." Essentially, it is the same thing that happens to the ear plug....but being smushed and temporarily distorted doesn't keep it from doing it's job. In fact, the temporary "discomfort" equips it to better do its job....And, I don't think we should use exterior circumstances as an excuse to keep us from doing our job either because God often uses these times in our lives to grow us up and enable and equip us better to serve Him. Here's the verse: "But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and NOT to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh." 2 Corinthians 4:7-11. Maybe today you feel defeated. Let me encourage you to follow example of the ear plug (that sounds silly) and don't forget to "pop" back up! Take advice from the verses that follow in that same chapter: "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory BEYOND all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." Sometimes, this life offers some "uncomfortable" circumstances...but I guess what I am trying to say can be summed up with a quote by one of my favorite authors, "But on that day when you and I have the finish line in view, ready to cross that tape and complete the race, we'll understand that our CHARACTER was infinitely more important than our comfort."

Oh, His Goodness!

I think one of the hardest things to deal with is knowing that God could change things if He wanted to, but didn't...Isn't that such a paradox? God is in control and is good, but allows things to happen to us that hurt and grieve us...My pastor posed the question to the congregation one Wednesday night, "What do you think causes people to get to the point where they blame God and almost become angry at Him?" I seriously thought about this because I think I might have been there, and my honest answer was "Why wouldn't we blame Him...He is in control!" I mean, I've been taught that my entire life and I've always had that attitude of "whatever happens, happens because that's the way God wanted it". Somehow, that ideology doesn't cut it when "whatever happens" hurts so deeply and is so hard to understand. So, I confessed all of these unsettling thoughts to M and he told me something that I can't seem to get out of my mind...The main point of what he said is this: Part of God being God is His ability to say "No". If He had no other option then to answer "Yes" at all times, wouldn't it sort of take away from His "Godness"? And if He could never say "No" to what we ask for then He wouldn't really be in control...WE would be...If we are searching for the kind of god who always gives us what we want then maybe what we should really be looking for is a genie.

Thank God, He has more than just one option. Thank God, He is God!!

Accept and Launch

For the last year or so that I've been working with my current employer, I have been using a particular program that daily asks me if I want to upgrade the version I have. Actually, it is more than daily because it is every time I log-in. My options: Accept and Launch...Make Changes Later...or Exit. So, for the last two hundred or so log-ins, I've been selecting "Make Changes Later"...

Change is inevitable...

Since it is our call as believers to become more like Christ daily, there are daily changes that will need to be accepted. The Bible urges us consistently to put off the old nature and put on the new...to exchange sinful behaviors for godly behaviors....to daily renew our minds in order to think God's thoughts...

Could we be postponing a fantastic upgrade by selecting to make changes later?

Fly, Stupid Bird!

So, N and I were driving down the road and we spotted a little bird crossing the street. Doesn't it make you wonder why they don't just fly across? I mean, they see a huge moving object travelling towards them and they walk?! Stupid birds! Don't they sense the danger? It is pretty obvious that one should remove itself from the path of something that is most likely going to annihilate it, wouldn't you think?

We do the same thing though!! Turns out stupidity isn't only "for the birds"! We find ourselves in situations all the time that could be somewhat dangerous and we walk...we rationalize...make excuses...WE NEED TO FLY! There is no time when danger is on the way! Get off that path and use the wings that God gave you!

Proverbs 18:10 "The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe."

Pride by Beth Moore

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God-given destiny...
because you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment...
because you "deserve better than this."
I cheat you of knowledge...because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing...because you're to full of me to forgive.
I cheat you of holiness...
because you refuse to admit when you're wrong.
I cheat you of vision...
because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.
I cheat you of genuine friendship...
because nobody's going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love...
because romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in Heaven...
because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth.
I cheat you of God's glory...
because I convince you to seek your own.
My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you.
Untrue.
I'm looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...
If you stick with me,
You'll never know.


"The biggest injustice of pride: it cheats wherever it plays."

Patience Is a Virtue...and I Don't Have It!

Today, I spent more time on the phone with Sprint customer service which is more then likely located in India...(nothing against the residence of India, but I've called four times and haven't understood the representative yet!) I was put on hold about three times and every time he came back on the phone he would timidly say "Thank you for patiently waiting"...by the fourth time I was pretty close to saying "Listen, stop saying that! I'm not patiently waiting!! I'm annoyed that I'm on hold and frustrated that I've had to call as many times as I have!" Didn't say that though...just said "Yup, Uh huh"...

I'm just not a patient person and that's that...I mean, maybe sometimes I am...

When the computer says to double click, I usually click four or five times....the computer gets all confused and has several times opened more than sixty windows of the same thing! This thinking of "the more times I click the faster it will come up on the screen" usually just creates more work for myself

In conclusion...be patient! I'm working on it and if you are working on it too then we would all be patient with one another and that would just make it easier...

Feelings. Nothing More Than Feelings.

I have spent the last several months longing for that "feeling" of God's presence in my life...Do I know He is there? Yes. Do I know I am His? Yes. Do I know that He loves me? Yes. Do I know He has a plan for me? Yes. So, why desire for the "feeling" of things I am already confident of? There is nothing wrong in praying for an overwhelming presence of God in our lives...I'm going to keep praying for it...But, I can't allow "feelings" to conclude my beliefs. Wouldn't it be nice if you could see your prayers float up to Heaven? You see Jesus catch them and hand them over to His Father...Wouldn't it be easier waiting for the answers to our prayers if we could see that they reached Him? I know that sometimes I feel like my prayers don't even leave the room...they hit the ceiling and bounce right back down to me and I am left "feeling" like maybe all I did was talk to myself for the last couple of minutes. This makes me wish I had a higher ceiling!

Having a relationship with God is so much more than being on a spiritual high 100% of the time...It is definitely more than feeling powerless and empty. Having a relationship with God is about balance. I don't need to search for oneness with God...I already have it...that is a promise to us as believers...Christ dwells in us!! "But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his." Romans 8:9

It doesn't matter how high or low the ceiling...He has made His home in us...He is in the room within earshot of our every need!

Because I'm Obsessed...

...I researched and found a possible spiritual application to my last blog...

Did you know that the Bible uses the word "heart" 765 times? See, because of my obsession I spent the whole day reading and counting! No, just kidding (Did you ever notice how people always feel like they need to say "just kidding" when it is clearly a joke...who could read the whole Bible in a day?) I obviously did a Bible search online. Often times the condition of the heart that is being referred to is either positive or negative to the extreme...evil, hardened, glad, willing, discouraged, sorrowful, seeking, guarded...In our modern dictionary, there are so many definitions of "heart"...understandably, the first definition states it's function in our ability to live...it mentions the conventional shape that we usually draw...like, I heart N...but out of the many possible ways of defining this word I like: "the innermost or central part of anything"

To love the Lord your God with all your heart...may our love for Him be the central part of every single part of our lives...and may we be able to express His love to others who don't know it.

And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. Deut. 6:5

So, monitor your heart today...what is it's condition?...

This Just In...

So, the news for the day is that I went to the doctor for a check-up on my fainting episode...I had an EKG and a whole bunch of blood work...they also thought it best to wear a heart monitor for the next 24hrs and to keep a detailed diary on when I sit and stand, eat, laugh or cough...like I said, detailed! I've had it on now for a little over an hour and I'm already annoyed with it. There are wires everywhere!! I feel like maybe I'm entitled to a handicap parking space for the next 24hrs or so...

Also, I went shooting last night with N and my head was apparently too close to the scope when I shot because once it recoiled I received a decent egg on my forehead....

Therefore, my outfit is totally ruined today! I wore an outfit inspired by my friend's blog about fashion found at thrift stores...if you're interested see it at http://thegleamofrosetea.blogspot.com... I'm pretty sure she is my only reader though...well, maybe there are two more of you out there!

Bottom line: I haven't thought of a spiritual application to this yet but I know there HAS to be one!! If you can think of one...post it under comments!!

Hope you are all having a great day!

This and That

This:

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Lord, I'm amazed by you...that you love me! That you sing over me like a mother or father does their child. Thank you that you are loving. Thank you that you are mighty! That you are more than capable to rescue me. Quiet my soul today with your love. Remind me of your grace and mercy. Help me to know when I'm going the wrong direction. Give me the wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it.

That:

On a totally different note...I'm a little happy that it is raining out because now I get to use my new umbrella that opens and closes by itself with a push of a button. I'm pretty sure the novelty will wear off after one use so...let's look for the sun....

A little more of "this":

...and the Son today!!!

Beautifully Broken

It seems like the older I get the more I notice that all of us have our hidden obstacles or hindrances...a fear, a fetish, a tendency to be tempted, unforgiveness, obsession, hurt, loss...just fill in the blank. I already knew this to be true...we all struggle with something one way or another, but I'm just now realizing that we walk around like it's not true. Would it be freeing if we were able to humble ourselves and be honest and confront our own brokenness? Since when is brokenness such a bad thing? Does God use people who are already whole in themselves? No, I think, in fact, that God usually breaks us in order to be made whole in Him. Brokenness strips us of the tendency to be self-reliant and self-righteous because it makes us realize that our need for a Saviour is severe. With the understanding that we are all pretty much broken APART from Christ's working in our lives and sometimes BECAUSE OF Christ's working in our lives.... what would be the point then of going on pretending? Do we have privacy from God? No! So, who are we really kidding? I'm not inferring that we initiate a new trend or something...like wearing pins that say "I'm Broken"...I'm just saying...why do we cry behind closed doors when someone feels the same way as you? Why do we hurt inside and pretend we are strong? Why do we allow ourselves to be tempted, but never seek help? I'm not going to go into a cliche' about how God can put your pieces together (although I know that to be true because He did it for me) and make something beautiful out of it...but I want to urge you to allow yourself to be prayerfully put back together and offer the jagged pieces to be used in order to point others to the God that heals...What would bring more glory to our God than finding victory and completeness in Him and praising Him for it?

"So, thank you, Jesus
even when You see us just as we are
Fragile and frail and so far
from who we want to be
So, thank you, Jesus
even when the pieces are broken and small
dreams shatter and scatter like the wind
Thank you, even then."

Even Then
lyrics by Nichole Nordeman

Be Still My Soul by Katharina von Schlege

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain,
Leave to your God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: your best, your Heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: your God will undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds shall know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Rain Check Please...

So, I have until 11pm to reschedule my test to become a licensed agent without being penalized. I think I might have to do this seeing as I haven't even studied for it yet and the test is on Thursday! There is just so much material to cover that I don't think I could possibly make it a happen...I'm just not ready...even as a career procrastinator, I don't think I'm comfortable with my level of unpreparedness...

Unfortunately, there are the "other" tests in life that kinda sneak up on us with no time to ask God for a reschedule...we just need to always be ready.

"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:" (I Peter 3:15)

I'm No Tarzan!

On our senior class trip, we went to a beautiful christian camp in one of the Carolinas...I think North. It was great...open sky, beautiful mountains...everything you could think of to do...Well, one of our activities pretty early in the week was to hike up the mountain and once getting there to play a whole bunch of games. There were three ways to get to the base of the mountain, since a river divided it from the main land...1. bridge (that's the one I wanted to choose)...2. tight rope with rope railings (still not a bad choice) and 3. swinging across the river on a rope like Tarzan (bad, bad, bad, bad choice) Anyways, the teacher that brought us as our counselor insisted that everyone cross Tarzan style...I was the last one to go and told him that I was definately not going to make it across because I have zero upper body strength...but he insisted and told me that if I fall in then he would jump in. I lasted about two seconds on that rope....and we both spent time hiking the mountain in wet sneakers.

Do you ever feel like you are "out of rope"? Your hands are slipping and you just wish that you chose one of your "other options"? This can be applied to anything...your job, your relationships, school, your marriage....there are a lot of decisions to make in life and so there are a lot of opportunities to feel..."cold in the river", but before making a decision that could possibly change your life for the worse ask yourself a few questions and REALLY think about the answers. Don't just make decisions based on an emotional feeling because after all, life is about a lot more then the way we feel...

What is the most important thing in life? What is life's purpose?

Do you want to glorify God?
Would your decision glorify God? In what ways?
Would it make Him happy?
How would He benefit?

Could Satan be glorified in any way?
Would it make him happy?
Would he benefit?

What are the long-term results?
What would you gain?
What would you lose?

Do you believe God can help you?
Will you let Him?

A lot of times, we go through life seeking our own pleasure and conveniently forget that God created us for His. If we purposely remind ourselves of this, would we make better decisions? Would we heal our marriages understanding that destroying it would bring no glory to God and no benefits to His kingdom? That is just one example. We make decisions everyday that alter God's best plan for us...Let's think about pleasing God before selfishly pleasing ourselves. A person that I look up to a great deal, once told me that when you do something first because it is the obedient thing to do...the feelings will soon follow.

Maybe it is important to have a rope-hugging Tarzan style of faith....

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up

I woke up in the middle of night, went to the bathroom, and passed out on my way back to the bedroom. Thankfully, my husband woke up because he could hear me stumbling around the house sounding like a "gorilla" (his word, not mine) and got to me just in time for me to faint into his arms and he gently laid me on the floor. Romantic, right? As I was relaying my episode to my friend J, I was telling her all about what it felt like to wake up and be confused and delusional...my husband said, "You are forgetting the most important part...I caught you...don't leave me out of the story!" Don't we do that a lot? Leave our Rescuer out of the story? That may be one of the most beautiful things about knowing Jesus...When I do faint, He catches me. If it were not for N's perfect timing and 911 speed, I would have probably banged my head on the bureau and incurred an even greater injury. God has perfect timing because He is always there. Thank God that among all the things He is, He possesses all the qualities of our Hero...our Rescuer!

"Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours"

Who Am I
Casting Crowns lyrics

Destination:Serenity

This Saturday morning as I lounge around the house, I realized how good God is...

About a month or so ago, I wouldn't even be here by myself out of my own fear and anxiety of being alone. I kind of assumed I would always be like that even though I wasn't like that before...I noticed this morning the sound of the quiet rain through my slightly opened windows and the slow rush of cars passing by. And then I realized...hey, I'm by myself....I decided I like this destination of serenity much more than the temptation to clutter my mind with such distressing emotions especially since there were only imagined threats anyways. For any of you who've ever had God preform any type of healing in your life, we know that it is a daily journey and every day you need to offer yourself over to Him and trust that He knows what He's doing...and He always does. Eventually, you find yourself feeling like "you" again and it almost comes out of no where. Thank God He fights our enemies for us!! How great is His love for us!

"In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant."
Psalm 143:12

Familiar Through Repetition

I am up absurdly early so figured I would write to you a little...hopefully it will make sense....we'll see

Lately, I've been noticing some things that I do out of habit and you probably do this too...I went to go throw something away, but forgot that I had moved the trash can about a foot and a half over to the left. I had to walk past the trash can at it's new residence, but my first clue that I moved it was that it was not present in it's previous location.

I like the dish soap on the left side of the kitchen sink and habitually place it there; however, N likes it on the right side and chooses not to submit to my plea to change.

I placed the mop in the bucket only to realize that the bucket was moved. I knew the bucket wasn't there...but part of me had to put the mop on the floor to really grasp it.

How come there are so many things that we remember to do out of habit, but I can't remember to do things like remove the other 25% of my nail polishing that is slowly chipping off....or to buy my very much needed contact lense solution....Maybe it's because I don't have to do those things everyday? Maybe it's just that I'm so familiar because of repetition?...I hope I'm not forgetting anything important...

"...That ye may remember, and do all my commandments, and be holy unto your God..."
Numbers 15:40

Yesterday's Illusion

Have you ever looked at a picture from a time in your life when you thought you were fat only to find out that you were actually really skinny...and then...new problem because now you are about 25 pounds heavier than you were when the original picture was taken!! I hate that! Sometimes, I think we never know what we have until it is already gone...we are stuck in the illusion that we, or are lives, are not what we planned or what we want...that's not a profound statement, but...when you begin to understand it...it is a profound understanding! I never thought I would miss going to the hospital and hearing the alarms sound...but I would give anything for it now. The silence of the alarms is a blaring reminder of grief. I don't think I could have appreciated him anymore than I did, but I never thought I would miss all the things I was scared of the most. As long as you are scared of the alarms...he's still alive to be monitored. As long as you are getting a diagnosis...he's still alive to diagnose. And as long as you are scared of him dieing...he's still alive. All the things I dreaded the most were the same things that let me know he was still fighting. So, to my readers, if there are any of you out there...let's work on giving thanks for EVERYTHING "for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning YOU" (1 Thessalonians 5:18). At least we have a car to fix, a friend to fight with, a child to discipline, a home to renovate, a spouse to disagree with, a body to critique....whatever it is...God has blessed you, I'm sure...just like God has blessed me.

Beautifully Distracted

Ok....so yesterday, I spent a little time cleaning my house...sweeping the floors, taking out the trash, vacuuming the couches, fluffing the pillows, dusting, decorating here and there...etc. I was finally finished with what I was doing so I sat to rest on the couch when my little ten pound dog comes over and pretends to sit on my lap only to jump over me and onto one of my newly fluffed silk pillows...she stands on it...bites the corner....then circles it 4 or 5 times until it is just right...and then plop...she's down for the count and asleep before I can even get up to remove her. Yesterday, I feel like all I did was fluff pillows. Fluff, Refluff, Fluff, Fluff, Fluff....I totally forgot about all the other stuff I did during the day. Even right before bed, I fluffed them up again figuring she was going to be in her crate in 2 minutes and when I woke up this morning 3 of them were mysteriously de-fluffed and one of them was on the floor. Ugh! She even has her own silk pillow to sit on!! She eventually ends up there, but it is like she does it on purpose...You know how we (humans) go to carnivals and play that game where you hit the weasel on the head when he pops up? I felt like that's what she was doing...my pillows would only stay fluffed for a matter of minutes. So...I had to think...how much of my day am I wasting literally fluffing pillows? Wouldn't my couches be just as functional without the pillows? I could always just put them out for company or when we need extra comfort. Then, I had to think...how much time do I figuratively waste "fluffing pillows"? Having a clean house is a wonderful thing...it's beautiful...but could I be beautifully distracted by "fluffing pillows" in the other areas of my life? Hmmmm....I had these thoughts even before reading what God had for me today...Here's what He told me in His Word...ironic....

Ephesians 5:15-21
"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is....be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Getting Started

Ok, so it is pretty obvious that I am just getting started with my "blogging"...I haven't quite figured out how to make it look pretty yet, but I know it will be someday. I feel like I should, by now, understand how to use a computer...but I don't, and so I will probably have to ask someone to help me.

Before I get started, I feel like I should let everyone know a few things about my writing skills:

1. I have none. Really...I'm not a writer and I do not pretend to be one.
2. I write like I'm talking so try not to notice the run on sentences. Which leads me to number...
3. I totally overuse my dot, dot, dots....(see, I just did it again)

I named my blog "Simply Reminisce" because I wanted to name it Simply Remember, but it was already taken...you know, "when the dog bites, when the bees sting, when I'm feeling sad...I SIMPLY REMEMBER my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad". One of the purposes of blogging is to keep in touch, but a big purpose for me is just remembering all the good things in life. God has blessed me in so many ways and I hope it is a blessing to you to read about it...so...

ENJOY!