So, I have until 11pm to reschedule my test to become a licensed agent without being penalized. I think I might have to do this seeing as I haven't even studied for it yet and the test is on Thursday! There is just so much material to cover that I don't think I could possibly make it a happen...I'm just not ready...even as a career procrastinator, I don't think I'm comfortable with my level of unpreparedness...
Unfortunately, there are the "other" tests in life that kinda sneak up on us with no time to ask God for a reschedule...we just need to always be ready.
"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:" (I Peter 3:15)
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
I'm No Tarzan!
On our senior class trip, we went to a beautiful christian camp in one of the Carolinas...I think North. It was great...open sky, beautiful mountains...everything you could think of to do...Well, one of our activities pretty early in the week was to hike up the mountain and once getting there to play a whole bunch of games. There were three ways to get to the base of the mountain, since a river divided it from the main land...1. bridge (that's the one I wanted to choose)...2. tight rope with rope railings (still not a bad choice) and 3. swinging across the river on a rope like Tarzan (bad, bad, bad, bad choice) Anyways, the teacher that brought us as our counselor insisted that everyone cross Tarzan style...I was the last one to go and told him that I was definately not going to make it across because I have zero upper body strength...but he insisted and told me that if I fall in then he would jump in. I lasted about two seconds on that rope....and we both spent time hiking the mountain in wet sneakers.
Do you ever feel like you are "out of rope"? Your hands are slipping and you just wish that you chose one of your "other options"? This can be applied to anything...your job, your relationships, school, your marriage....there are a lot of decisions to make in life and so there are a lot of opportunities to feel..."cold in the river", but before making a decision that could possibly change your life for the worse ask yourself a few questions and REALLY think about the answers. Don't just make decisions based on an emotional feeling because after all, life is about a lot more then the way we feel...
What is the most important thing in life? What is life's purpose?
Do you want to glorify God?
Would your decision glorify God? In what ways?
Would it make Him happy?
How would He benefit?
Could Satan be glorified in any way?
Would it make him happy?
Would he benefit?
What are the long-term results?
What would you gain?
What would you lose?
Do you believe God can help you?
Will you let Him?
A lot of times, we go through life seeking our own pleasure and conveniently forget that God created us for His. If we purposely remind ourselves of this, would we make better decisions? Would we heal our marriages understanding that destroying it would bring no glory to God and no benefits to His kingdom? That is just one example. We make decisions everyday that alter God's best plan for us...Let's think about pleasing God before selfishly pleasing ourselves. A person that I look up to a great deal, once told me that when you do something first because it is the obedient thing to do...the feelings will soon follow.
Maybe it is important to have a rope-hugging Tarzan style of faith....
Do you ever feel like you are "out of rope"? Your hands are slipping and you just wish that you chose one of your "other options"? This can be applied to anything...your job, your relationships, school, your marriage....there are a lot of decisions to make in life and so there are a lot of opportunities to feel..."cold in the river", but before making a decision that could possibly change your life for the worse ask yourself a few questions and REALLY think about the answers. Don't just make decisions based on an emotional feeling because after all, life is about a lot more then the way we feel...
What is the most important thing in life? What is life's purpose?
Do you want to glorify God?
Would your decision glorify God? In what ways?
Would it make Him happy?
How would He benefit?
Could Satan be glorified in any way?
Would it make him happy?
Would he benefit?
What are the long-term results?
What would you gain?
What would you lose?
Do you believe God can help you?
Will you let Him?
A lot of times, we go through life seeking our own pleasure and conveniently forget that God created us for His. If we purposely remind ourselves of this, would we make better decisions? Would we heal our marriages understanding that destroying it would bring no glory to God and no benefits to His kingdom? That is just one example. We make decisions everyday that alter God's best plan for us...Let's think about pleasing God before selfishly pleasing ourselves. A person that I look up to a great deal, once told me that when you do something first because it is the obedient thing to do...the feelings will soon follow.
Maybe it is important to have a rope-hugging Tarzan style of faith....
Sunday, May 4, 2008
I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up
I woke up in the middle of night, went to the bathroom, and passed out on my way back to the bedroom. Thankfully, my husband woke up because he could hear me stumbling around the house sounding like a "gorilla" (his word, not mine) and got to me just in time for me to faint into his arms and he gently laid me on the floor. Romantic, right? As I was relaying my episode to my friend J, I was telling her all about what it felt like to wake up and be confused and delusional...my husband said, "You are forgetting the most important part...I caught you...don't leave me out of the story!" Don't we do that a lot? Leave our Rescuer out of the story? That may be one of the most beautiful things about knowing Jesus...When I do faint, He catches me. If it were not for N's perfect timing and 911 speed, I would have probably banged my head on the bureau and incurred an even greater injury. God has perfect timing because He is always there. Thank God that among all the things He is, He possesses all the qualities of our Hero...our Rescuer!
"Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours"
Who Am I
Casting Crowns lyrics
"Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours"
Who Am I
Casting Crowns lyrics
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Destination:Serenity
This Saturday morning as I lounge around the house, I realized how good God is...
About a month or so ago, I wouldn't even be here by myself out of my own fear and anxiety of being alone. I kind of assumed I would always be like that even though I wasn't like that before...I noticed this morning the sound of the quiet rain through my slightly opened windows and the slow rush of cars passing by. And then I realized...hey, I'm by myself....I decided I like this destination of serenity much more than the temptation to clutter my mind with such distressing emotions especially since there were only imagined threats anyways. For any of you who've ever had God preform any type of healing in your life, we know that it is a daily journey and every day you need to offer yourself over to Him and trust that He knows what He's doing...and He always does. Eventually, you find yourself feeling like "you" again and it almost comes out of no where. Thank God He fights our enemies for us!! How great is His love for us!
"In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant."
Psalm 143:12
About a month or so ago, I wouldn't even be here by myself out of my own fear and anxiety of being alone. I kind of assumed I would always be like that even though I wasn't like that before...I noticed this morning the sound of the quiet rain through my slightly opened windows and the slow rush of cars passing by. And then I realized...hey, I'm by myself....I decided I like this destination of serenity much more than the temptation to clutter my mind with such distressing emotions especially since there were only imagined threats anyways. For any of you who've ever had God preform any type of healing in your life, we know that it is a daily journey and every day you need to offer yourself over to Him and trust that He knows what He's doing...and He always does. Eventually, you find yourself feeling like "you" again and it almost comes out of no where. Thank God He fights our enemies for us!! How great is His love for us!
"In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant."
Psalm 143:12
Friday, May 2, 2008
Familiar Through Repetition
I am up absurdly early so figured I would write to you a little...hopefully it will make sense....we'll see
Lately, I've been noticing some things that I do out of habit and you probably do this too...I went to go throw something away, but forgot that I had moved the trash can about a foot and a half over to the left. I had to walk past the trash can at it's new residence, but my first clue that I moved it was that it was not present in it's previous location.
I like the dish soap on the left side of the kitchen sink and habitually place it there; however, N likes it on the right side and chooses not to submit to my plea to change.
I placed the mop in the bucket only to realize that the bucket was moved. I knew the bucket wasn't there...but part of me had to put the mop on the floor to really grasp it.
How come there are so many things that we remember to do out of habit, but I can't remember to do things like remove the other 25% of my nail polishing that is slowly chipping off....or to buy my very much needed contact lense solution....Maybe it's because I don't have to do those things everyday? Maybe it's just that I'm so familiar because of repetition?...I hope I'm not forgetting anything important...
"...That ye may remember, and do all my commandments, and be holy unto your God..."
Numbers 15:40
Lately, I've been noticing some things that I do out of habit and you probably do this too...I went to go throw something away, but forgot that I had moved the trash can about a foot and a half over to the left. I had to walk past the trash can at it's new residence, but my first clue that I moved it was that it was not present in it's previous location.
I like the dish soap on the left side of the kitchen sink and habitually place it there; however, N likes it on the right side and chooses not to submit to my plea to change.
I placed the mop in the bucket only to realize that the bucket was moved. I knew the bucket wasn't there...but part of me had to put the mop on the floor to really grasp it.
How come there are so many things that we remember to do out of habit, but I can't remember to do things like remove the other 25% of my nail polishing that is slowly chipping off....or to buy my very much needed contact lense solution....Maybe it's because I don't have to do those things everyday? Maybe it's just that I'm so familiar because of repetition?...I hope I'm not forgetting anything important...
"...That ye may remember, and do all my commandments, and be holy unto your God..."
Numbers 15:40
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Yesterday's Illusion
Have you ever looked at a picture from a time in your life when you thought you were fat only to find out that you were actually really skinny...and then...new problem because now you are about 25 pounds heavier than you were when the original picture was taken!! I hate that! Sometimes, I think we never know what we have until it is already gone...we are stuck in the illusion that we, or are lives, are not what we planned or what we want...that's not a profound statement, but...when you begin to understand it...it is a profound understanding! I never thought I would miss going to the hospital and hearing the alarms sound...but I would give anything for it now. The silence of the alarms is a blaring reminder of grief. I don't think I could have appreciated him anymore than I did, but I never thought I would miss all the things I was scared of the most. As long as you are scared of the alarms...he's still alive to be monitored. As long as you are getting a diagnosis...he's still alive to diagnose. And as long as you are scared of him dieing...he's still alive. All the things I dreaded the most were the same things that let me know he was still fighting. So, to my readers, if there are any of you out there...let's work on giving thanks for EVERYTHING "for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning YOU" (1 Thessalonians 5:18). At least we have a car to fix, a friend to fight with, a child to discipline, a home to renovate, a spouse to disagree with, a body to critique....whatever it is...God has blessed you, I'm sure...just like God has blessed me.
Beautifully Distracted
Ok....so yesterday, I spent a little time cleaning my house...sweeping the floors, taking out the trash, vacuuming the couches, fluffing the pillows, dusting, decorating here and there...etc. I was finally finished with what I was doing so I sat to rest on the couch when my little ten pound dog comes over and pretends to sit on my lap only to jump over me and onto one of my newly fluffed silk pillows...she stands on it...bites the corner....then circles it 4 or 5 times until it is just right...and then plop...she's down for the count and asleep before I can even get up to remove her. Yesterday, I feel like all I did was fluff pillows. Fluff, Refluff, Fluff, Fluff, Fluff....I totally forgot about all the other stuff I did during the day. Even right before bed, I fluffed them up again figuring she was going to be in her crate in 2 minutes and when I woke up this morning 3 of them were mysteriously de-fluffed and one of them was on the floor. Ugh! She even has her own silk pillow to sit on!! She eventually ends up there, but it is like she does it on purpose...You know how we (humans) go to carnivals and play that game where you hit the weasel on the head when he pops up? I felt like that's what she was doing...my pillows would only stay fluffed for a matter of minutes. So...I had to think...how much of my day am I wasting literally fluffing pillows? Wouldn't my couches be just as functional without the pillows? I could always just put them out for company or when we need extra comfort. Then, I had to think...how much time do I figuratively waste "fluffing pillows"? Having a clean house is a wonderful thing...it's beautiful...but could I be beautifully distracted by "fluffing pillows" in the other areas of my life? Hmmmm....I had these thoughts even before reading what God had for me today...Here's what He told me in His Word...ironic....
Ephesians 5:15-21
"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is....be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ."
Ephesians 5:15-21
"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is....be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ."
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