I've learned that...
16. you should do everything you can while in the bathroom with the door shut, because once you open it, you're immediately back on duty.
17. other people's comments about how their kids are the best or the cutest can cause an internal rage inside of you that can only be compared to the Hulk as you fight every childish inclination to argue that YOUR baby is, in fact, the cutest and the best.
18. a clean diaper means a poop is imminent.
19. squealing and yelling really are acceptable forms of communication...unfortunately, that's just not true for adults.
20. what i know is a difficult poop session, my husband will think is a seizure.
21. food makes a great distraction.
22. cartoons are really meant for adults.
23. hearing your husband talking to her in the other room about how her little, white denim shorts are "almost as cute as she is" will make you melt.
24. Baby Einstein can cause the same internal rage (see number 17) if watched consecutively. not recommended.
25. getting out of the house on time should be an Olympic sport (with or without baby).
26. crumbs, paper, paper towel, toilet paper, string or anything of swallowable size can become a meal.
27. dressed in a completely pink outfit, with ears pierced and a bow on her head....and i'll still be asked how old HE is!
28. remote controls work best as toys without batteries.
29. she'll find options on my iPhone that i didn't even know existed.
30. she will wave at her shadow, her reflection, the food she dropped on the floor, the light fixtures, but NOT the cute, old lady in line behind me in Whole Foods.
see the first installment of "things i've learned" here
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