upgrade

i will gladly trade sitting at a desk...

...for sitting on the floor.

i will gladly trade my paycheck....

....for wet, sloppy kisses.

i will gladly trade night school...

...for teaching my kids during the day.

i will gladly trade my social schedule...

...for one ruled by play dates.

i will gladly trade a booth for two...

...for a table for two adults and a high chair.

i will gladly trade peace and quiet...

...for chaos and noise.

i will gladly trade cute clutches...

...for diaper bags.

i will gladly trade wearing white...

...for wearing black to cover boogers and food splatter.

i will gladly trade sleep...

...for midnight feedings.

i will gladly trade personal creative time...

...for time teaching my kids to create.

i will gladly trade my dog...

...for my kids.

...because you never know...

hey, you know that person that just cut you off on the highway? yeah, that guy!...and then you beaped at him for 5 minutes while returning the favor?

...maybe he's on his way to the hospital to say "goodbye" to a loved one.

you know the customer service representative that just had an attitude with you?...and then you put her in her place and reported her to her supervisor?

...maybe her daughter is being treated for cancer.

you know the person who dresses bad and has body odor? yeah, the person we just laughed about?

...maybe he's living in his car.

Some people go through life collecting "junk" and are just waiting for someone to "dump" it on...i'd hate to be that kind of person! and some people...MANY people...have real issues...and because you just can't know, we should treat each other with love.

11 weeks

i'm 11 weeks today and somehow i feel like i'll be mentally exhausted by the time i make it past 24...i feel sort of like i'm in a brutal countdown...just waiting for something "bad" to happen...there have already been a few scary moments to this pregnancy and every time, it takes me back to the moment when i realized i was saying goodbye to zachary...part of me feels too weak to be able to handle reliving that over and over again...even if it's only in my head, nevermind in reality.

however, nate insists that this baby is "our good thing"....which coincidentally is part of my favorite verse that helped me the last 2 1/2 years while trying...he didn't even know.

"for the LORD GOD is a sun and shield. The Lord gives grace and glory. no good thing does He withhold from them who walk uprightly" Psalm 84:11

i really do feel like i'm gonna need a lot of grace in the upcoming months....a lot of mental rest...

my first goal is two parts: 1. pray more...2. look for answers on the internet less

that darn internet gets me in trouble every time!


this would be a lot easier if my brain didn't keep trying to get in the way...i just already love this baby so much.