affirmation.

Sometimes, M will be doing something...

coloring crazy

running in circles

putting her shoes on

and she'll look at my husband just to see if he's watching.

When she confirms that he is,

she quickly goes back to what she was doing with a little smirk on her face.

I love that she looks for affirmation from him...

..."hey, daddy! look what I'm doing!!!"...

Even more, I love that he's already looking at her when she seeks it.

acceptance

acknowledgement

security

Mykenzie always gives me sweet reminders of what my relationship with God is like...

Yes, sometimes, I just need to be noticed...don't you?

washing dishes

doing laundry

looking for her "dinty" again

Go ahead. Seek His affirmation. 

He's already watching you. 

I just smirked. Did you?

a note for M

Dear M,

There was a time I would daydream about owning a business. 

I'd come up with multiple ideas to market, advertise and package my product.

I hoped to one day plan extravagant parties where there was color and laughter and confetti.

I planned to write my stories down and share them with the world.

I attempted creativity in almost every form.

I can't say I was successful at any of these things.

Perhaps my motivation was to "make a name for myself",

or to be known,

or to be recognized,

or to leave an imprint when my life is over.

I realize now that if no one hears my stories but you, 

I'd be sharing them with my whole world.

If the most creative thing I do today is make play-doh into a strawberry, 

then I opened your mind to a new way of seeing things.

If I plan parties, 

let them be to celebrate you.

I'm feeling sentimental while I'm realizing that you recognized me the moment you heard my voice,

smelled my scent,

were held in my arms.

Perhaps...

YOU're my imprint on this world, sweet girl,

and that all my chasing is just that....chasing...

 I've already made a name for myself...

the best one I can think of...

and I'm reminded of that each time I hear you say "Mommy".

If being your mommy is the one thing I'm successful at...

well, I'm truly satisfied.

There was a time I daydreamed about having it all,

...and now I realize...

I do.