This whole time, I felt like I was on an icy lake...I was carrying a very large burden and I was scared that the extra weight would break the ice...At first, I stayed close to the shore because I knew that at any moment I could jump off to safety...there was also a Man on the shore that I knew would reach out His hand if the ice started to crack...In fact, the ice DID crack and instead of reaching my hand out for His, I ran away from crack further towards the center of the frozen lake, holding on to my burden as though it could be a life preserver with an impossible delusion that I could out run the crack...Before long, the growing crack reached my feet and I lost confidence in the ice and my burden. The further from the shore I got, the thinner and more uncertain the icy terrain became until I finally came to the end of myself and decided that I had to face the crevasse that separated me from the shore head on...of course, I couldn't take my burden with me on my return trek ...the weight of it would surely break the ice...so I let go of it and left it in the center of the lake...I didn't carefully watch my step, I ran with speed to the shore and reached for His hand.
Monday, December 28, 2009
i think in word pictures
This whole time, I felt like I was on an icy lake...I was carrying a very large burden and I was scared that the extra weight would break the ice...At first, I stayed close to the shore because I knew that at any moment I could jump off to safety...there was also a Man on the shore that I knew would reach out His hand if the ice started to crack...In fact, the ice DID crack and instead of reaching my hand out for His, I ran away from crack further towards the center of the frozen lake, holding on to my burden as though it could be a life preserver with an impossible delusion that I could out run the crack...Before long, the growing crack reached my feet and I lost confidence in the ice and my burden. The further from the shore I got, the thinner and more uncertain the icy terrain became until I finally came to the end of myself and decided that I had to face the crevasse that separated me from the shore head on...of course, I couldn't take my burden with me on my return trek ...the weight of it would surely break the ice...so I let go of it and left it in the center of the lake...I didn't carefully watch my step, I ran with speed to the shore and reached for His hand.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
a long quote from a favorite
"When the brilliant ethicist John Kavanaugh went to work for three months at "the house of the dying" in Calcutta, he was seeking a clear answer as to how best to spend the rest of his life. On the first morning there he met Mother Teresa. she asked, "And what can I do for you?" Kavanaugh asked her to pray for him.
"What do you want me to pray for?" she asked. He voiced the request that he had borne thousands of miles from the United States: "Pray that I have clarity."
She said firmly, "No, I will not do that." When he asked her why, she said, "Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of." When Kavanaugh commented that she always seemed to have the clarity he longed for, she laughed and said, "I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God."
"We ourselves have known and put our trust in God's love toward ourselves." (John 4:16)
Craving clarity, we attempt to eliminate the risk of trusting God. Fear of the unknown path stretching ahead of us destroys childlike trust in the Father's active goodness and unrestricted love.
.......
Uncompromising trust in the love of God inspires us to thank God for the spiritual darkness that envelops us, for the loss of income, for the nagging arthritis that is so painful, and to pray from the heart, "Abba, into your hands I entrust my body, mind and spirit and this entire day- morning, afternoon, evening, and night. Whatever you want of me, I want of me, falling into you and trusting in you in the midst of my life. Into your heart I entrust my heart, feeble, distracted, insecure, uncertain. Abba, unto you I abandon myself in Jesus our Lord. Amen."
"What do you want me to pray for?" she asked. He voiced the request that he had borne thousands of miles from the United States: "Pray that I have clarity."
She said firmly, "No, I will not do that." When he asked her why, she said, "Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of." When Kavanaugh commented that she always seemed to have the clarity he longed for, she laughed and said, "I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God."
"We ourselves have known and put our trust in God's love toward ourselves." (John 4:16)
Craving clarity, we attempt to eliminate the risk of trusting God. Fear of the unknown path stretching ahead of us destroys childlike trust in the Father's active goodness and unrestricted love.
.......
Uncompromising trust in the love of God inspires us to thank God for the spiritual darkness that envelops us, for the loss of income, for the nagging arthritis that is so painful, and to pray from the heart, "Abba, into your hands I entrust my body, mind and spirit and this entire day- morning, afternoon, evening, and night. Whatever you want of me, I want of me, falling into you and trusting in you in the midst of my life. Into your heart I entrust my heart, feeble, distracted, insecure, uncertain. Abba, unto you I abandon myself in Jesus our Lord. Amen."
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
desert vs dessert
when i was a kid, i learned a lot of fun ways to remember how to spell things...for instance, NECESSARY is Norman Eats Candy, Eggs, Sardine Sandwiches and Raw Yolks (gross)....SEPARATE- you always want to be sepArate from A RAT (get it?)....
a lot of spelling i learned from cheerleading too...i will never forget how to spell PSYCHED, AGGRESSIVE, or SUCCESS...ever!
the way i remember the difference between desert and dessert is the secret found in the s's...
the one with two s's is the one you usually want MORE of....DESSERT...yummy, chocolate, delicious.....frosting....mmMMMmmm....(ok, fatty, get back to your post...)
anyways, i thought today about how that's how we are in life....we are always looking more for DeSSert...the good and usually temporary things in life....not realizing that sometimes the dry, DeSert parts of our life are equally, if not MORE, important because they produce things that are lasting!!
if you are going through a deSert time, remember... "tested faith produces endurance, maturity and God's rich reward". (also, check out this song)
.....and God's RICH reward will be better than chocolate!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
the importance of patience
"practice patience"
"patience is a virtue"
this post is a sequel to my last post...i had to continue my thoughts about waiting because post-blogging i realized that there was a necessary element of waiting that i forgot to touch on:
patience
i hate that word...patience does not come easily to me...you can wait pretty easily because...well, there really isn't any other choice other than waiting...there's usually no control over whether to wait or not to wait....but to choose to wait patiently?...that's the part we have control over and that's the tricky part!
i realize that in the process of waiting, i have the opportunity to practice patience....but it's also exercising my ability to keep faith. last night MW said, "waiting is the lost art of faith"...and i couldn't agree more!
without patience, waiting is just an anxious-driven, neurotic checking of the calendar.....a stale attempt at faith.
waiting without patience is faith without virtue....therefore, not really faith at all.
Friday, December 4, 2009
the importance of waiting...
do you know that if you were to live for 65 years, you would spend a little more than half of that time waiting?!
it's no wonder i feel like i've been waiting for most of my life! maybe i'm getting all my waiting checked off the list before i get to mid-life.....my retirement years are gonna be awesome! i will get to the front of the line every time.....only green lights for me!....i will get what i want instantaneously!....
do you know that on average, we spend 8 hours of our lives just waiting at red lights??
we spend an average of 3 years just standing in line!!!!
how do you think life would change if we had instant gratification of every whimsical desire we had?? do you think we would be grateful as much for the fulfillment?? i doubt it...
there are so many things we wait for....
professional opportunities
prayers to be answered
soldiers to come home
babies to arrive
sickness to depart
bodies to be healed
homes to be sold
friday to come
good news to share
we basically have to wait for everything....and even though sometimes, it's really hard...doesn't the waiting make it more incredible?? once whatever you're waiting for happens, doesn't it make you so grateful because you desired it so much more?? while you're waiting, you can't imagine wanting anything more........and then, all of a sudden, you have it!!
is the wait worth it??!?!
i think so....i know so....
"when i think the best is yet to come, i smile"....and i wait for it.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
lingo
welcome to my world....(that statement does not contradict my last post...it's just a saying...)
my DH and i began TTC 15AF's ago...the OB has a few pointers when starting out....stop taking BCP, start taking FA, track your BBT and CM, time your LO and then hopefully you will get a BFP when you POAS...unfortunately, for the last 15AF's, DH and I have only seen BFN. My OB referred me to an RE for IF. We are stocked up on OTC HPT's and EPT's and OPK's. The roller coaster starts over on CD1 when the RE orders BW to get my P4 checked...numerous U/S monitor the FP and the effects of FSH...(not to mention 2 uncomfortable HSG)...then to endure the dreadful 2ww. Thank goodness we don't have any other Dx...just AO...It could be worse. We could have multiple MF such as LSP...or i could have PCOS. We still have some options such as IUI, IVF and ICSI. Hopefully, the 15th COW since TTC will be lucky one! We would have an EDD and even be able to hear the FHR.
BTW, i understand that most of you won't understand this post...lucky you! OTOH, for all my FF who do understand this and can read it like a second language, FTTA...hope you get your BFP!!!
my DH and i began TTC 15AF's ago...the OB has a few pointers when starting out....stop taking BCP, start taking FA, track your BBT and CM, time your LO and then hopefully you will get a BFP when you POAS...unfortunately, for the last 15AF's, DH and I have only seen BFN. My OB referred me to an RE for IF. We are stocked up on OTC HPT's and EPT's and OPK's. The roller coaster starts over on CD1 when the RE orders BW to get my P4 checked...numerous U/S monitor the FP and the effects of FSH...(not to mention 2 uncomfortable HSG)...then to endure the dreadful 2ww. Thank goodness we don't have any other Dx...just AO...It could be worse. We could have multiple MF such as LSP...or i could have PCOS. We still have some options such as IUI, IVF and ICSI. Hopefully, the 15th COW since TTC will be lucky one! We would have an EDD and even be able to hear the FHR.
BTW, i understand that most of you won't understand this post...lucky you! OTOH, for all my FF who do understand this and can read it like a second language, FTTA...hope you get your BFP!!!
HIS world
How often do we act like as though we are, in some way, "inviting" God into OUR world??
we "make time" for God...
we "give Him credit" for creation...
we "include Him" in special events...
we "keep Him number one" in our lives....
The grandest invitation we've ever received is the one postmarked thousands of years ago when God chose to invite US into HIS world!
HE made time for US.
HE gave Himself credit when He said "it is good"...He doesn't need our stamp of approval.
HE made US for HIS pleasure...not our own.
HE is already part of every event...special or ordinary.
HE is ALREADY number one...He is the first and last...EVERYTHING starts and ends with HIM.
How thankful I am, that HE has invited us to partake of HIS world...may we not get so wrapped up in it that we lose sight of how spectacular that really is.
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