a day late...

...but i'm still thankful...

yesterday morning, nate and i had the opportunity to volunteer at the local rescue mission with some friends. one thing i overheard from one of the volunteers in reference to a mis-shapen piece of pie was, "beggars can't be choosers". when we got in the car, i started to tell nate, "Things you shouldn't say at a rescue mission..." and he finished my sentence by saying, "beggars can't be choosers"...so apparently this guy said it several times during our short two hour shift.

..."Beggars can't be choosers"...

hmm, that really bugged me. i realize that we are ALL one bad decision or one unfortunate turn of events away from also being "beggars".....i wonder if i could accept such a gift knowing the giver had the mentality, "beggars can't be choosers".

i was reminded of the passage in 2 Samuel 9 (read full chapter here), the story of Mephibosheth. David was annointed king and remembered and respected his friend, Jonathan. He asked, "Is there anyone still living from the family of Saul (Jonathan's father) that I can show kindness to?" A servant of his told him of Mephibosheth and he was invited to meet with David, the king. The story of Mephibosheth is a sad one....he was five years old when his nurse fell while holding him and he became crippled in both legs (2 Samuel 4:4)

when Mephibosheth met with David, he was rewarded with everything he would of had if his own father was king...he was just like one of David's very own sons. the verse that sticks out the most for me is, "What is your servant, that you should show regard for a dead dog such as i?"

he considered himself "a dead dog"...utterly humbled by the fact that he was offered an incredible new life of royalty....

just like Mephibosheth, there is a place for me at the King's table...i'm accepted with all my ailments and insecurities....i'm a a beggar, crippled by sin, but awarded a life as a child of The King...i'm a princess....

i'm thankful for my seat at His table...

i'm thankful that although "beggars can't be choosers", beggars can be CHOSEN!

more of Him...less of "you know who"

you know what? even if you think you are doing something that looks like God's Will, sounds like a God-thing, feels like it's from God.....doesn't mean that it wasn't completely calculated by my own will....i was thinking about how much i want to "do" stuff...i really want God to use me and all the things that have happened in my life...but what about the details? - i think i make them up all on my own...i never have a sense of settled determination...i find myself waiting, never putting my ideas into action.

two things come to mind:

1. what am i waiting for?

and...

2. maybe this isn't what God wants

if i was SURE of God's plan, would i be twiddling my thumbs in delay.....and if it's NOT what God wants then i need to know what He does want so i can be there...appropriately placed and available.

sometimes, i feel i interfere with the real plan that God has for me...i just need to get out of my own way...

overwhelmed

it's late tonight as i type...nate is working tonight and i bought a ton of new music and i can't seem to turn it off...i think i'm gonna listen to all 6 cd's before finally greeting my pillow...

anyways, as i sit here watching the news, listening to my spirit-encouraging music, not really enjoying the solitude, but at least relaxing on the couch...i can't help but think about life.

life--i don't know...it's kind of a funny thing when you think about it. i mean, we are here. we were created. we have ups...we have downs...both are inevitable. think about your life...all the people that have come in and out of it...all the things you've been through that you didn't think you could handle...all the things that have happened that seemed too good to be true.

i'm overwhelmed by God's goodness.

i'm overwhelmed by His love.

i'm overwhelmed by His mercy.

i'm overwhelmed by His grace.

i'm overwhelmed by the awesomeness of His plan.

i'm overwhelmed by HIM!

i can't help myself tonight......i'm overwhelmed...and for once, in a really long time, it's not a bad thing...