it's late tonight as i type...nate is working tonight and i bought a ton of new music and i can't seem to turn it off...i think i'm gonna listen to all 6 cd's before finally greeting my pillow...
anyways, as i sit here watching the news, listening to my spirit-encouraging music, not really enjoying the solitude, but at least relaxing on the couch...i can't help but think about life.
life--i don't know...it's kind of a funny thing when you think about it. i mean, we are here. we were created. we have ups...we have downs...both are inevitable. think about your life...all the people that have come in and out of it...all the things you've been through that you didn't think you could handle...all the things that have happened that seemed too good to be true.
i'm overwhelmedby God's goodness.
i'm overwhelmed by His love.
i'm overwhelmed by His mercy.
i'm overwhelmed by His grace.
i'm overwhelmed by the awesomeness of His plan.
i'm overwhelmed by HIM!
i can't help myself tonight......i'm overwhelmed...and for once, in a really long time, it's not a bad thing...
I wait so long to blog that i never really get to do a "fun" post...I'm always doing a boring "update"...err...if only my life was more interesting :)
so, lately, I've been busy, busy...good things...
busy with dr appts (see previous posts because I'm not going "there" today)
busy with church projects (so happy that I can be used in any capacity that encourages others)
busy with event planning course (still on unit c, but I'm loving it)
busy with event planning business ideas (more on this in the future)
sometimes being busy is good...in fact, I LOVE being busy! but often times, when you are busy, it involves lots of decision making...some very serious, life-changing even...some not-so-serious. regardless of the severity of the decision, I feel like for me it's easy to become quite anxious.
I REALLY liked this video from Andy Stanley!
wow, right? good points to consider and to practice. i'm definitely a "worry wart" (ewww...gross...who thought of that saying?!?!)
here's another great quote i found on my friend's facebook status :)
"In this crazy world, there's an enormous distinction between good times and bad, between sorrow and joy. But in the eyes of God, they're never separated. Where there is pain, there is healing. Where there is mourning, there is dancing. Where there is poverty, there is the Kingdom." - Henri Nouwen
I feel like this quote goes along perfectly with the A.Stanley video...our society worries a lot about H1N1 (i'm among them, for sure...being a germaphobe doesn't help), war, the economy, being laid off, financial security, homeland security..... the possiblity of becoming a wart is pretty high!
I think it's easy to sit back and say, "What is God thinking?"...especially, knowing that He has full power to change it all. How amazing to know that He knows our secret (and even not-so secret) fears and doubts!
Now, maybe you're wondering what "good" it does for God to know our fears and doubts if you don't see Him doing anything "good" with them...hmmm...
I don't have any pat answers for any of this...I only know what the Bible says and what I feel I know is true in my heart. I've had many reasons to ask God such things. I know that what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternally lasting...maybe, there are more things happening that are "unseen" than we could possibly know. I know that God allows things to happen for our good, our benefit, our growth and our character. I know that God loves me...and he loves you too! I know that God's word is MORE than enough...and I know that God's word tells us that God doesn't want us to live in fear, worry or doubt. I know that God made us in His image...and from even from the scientific point of view, our human bodies are amazing and full of wonder!
How can we wonder why God allows bad things to happen, but we never question where the good comes from? Or how can we give God credit for the good, but then wonder what's He thinking or discredit His power when it comes to the "bad"?
I think if we realize that "every good and perfect thing comes from above", we could be grateful to the God that gives us the good AND the bad. If we could acknowledge that God works mysteriously even using methods that seem unfair, we could be grateful...yup, even for the "bad"...because we would know that somehow, in ways I don't always understand...it's really for our good. I think if we realized that God was already in control of everything and we REALLY understood His sovereignty, we would feel ridiculous worrying about things....even things as serious as our health, our children and war. I think that when we say "God is in control", we think we are giving Him control...not true, He IS...ALWAYS has been...ALWAYS will be...in control...We have to admit that otherwise we could mislead ourselves into thinking that we have some power...and as long as we feel we can control things, i don't think we could stop worrying...we would have no peace. Even if we refuse to acknowledge that He is in control, doesn't change the fact that He is, in fact, still completely in control.....even over people that do not believe in Him.
so, this is my random chatter for the day...sorry if my thought are out of order...i'm at work! :)
Sometimes, to my dismay, I read way too much into things...I've often been charged with this accusation...I'm a fault finder and sometimes it's hard to turn off, but today I read something into words that I think were correct to assume.
My husband wrote in a text, "I'll be there."
I smiled, knowing that he's dependable, loving, present, on my team, my best friend and everything I could ever ask for.
I know that they weren't just words.....they were a promise.
Do you ever feel like just changing everything about yourself? Well, I know there's some things that I just can't change, but there's others that I can change!
Tonight I decided to go into the back room, unbarricade1 the treadmill, remove the remaining debris off the top of it and actually plug it in...Did I exercise on it? You bet I did! I WALKED a half a mile uphill...and then died2.
I don't feel better about myself; after all, my effort only proved how disturbingly out of shape I am.
I kept putting off exercising because...well, to be honest, I planned on getting fat...but the good kind of fat...the pregnancy kind of fat...and month after month, I just got more of the not good kind of fat....the nutty bar, late-night sundaes, KFC chicken pot pie, Boston Creme Donuts, fast food for lunch every day kind of fat...
Right now, I'm sitting on my couch in full exercise gear but unfortunately my gut is hanging out and I'm dreaming of coffee oreo ice cream...is that too much information? Hey, you know what? It's your decision to keep reading...
Part of my makeover is starting and completing the event planning course. Today, I started Unit A and finished my first assignment...after about 20 more pages of reading, I can finish my second assignment. I'm gonna get it done before the night is over...Well, maybe when "The Bucket List" is over. :)
What else am I putting on my list? Well, I plan on putting a facial mask on to take care of some of the...um...blemishes...ok, zits that I have on my face and I'm gonna paint my nails....
Short term goals: Finish another assignment, facial, nails
Tomorrow, I will look brand new!
Long term goals: exercise and eat healthier, take care of myself, become a certified event planner
In the future, I will be a successful event planner and people will look at me and say, "Hey, she is so put together! How does she do it?"
...haha...I'm such a dork!
and on that note.....did you notice my footnotes3?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 "unbarricade" is not really a word so I wouldn't advise using it in any formal settings
2 don't want to be misleading, I'm still alive :)
3 did my footnotes help or hurt the aforementioned dork factor?
So...I figure now is as good a time as any to update BlogWorld on all my "plans" etc...
Some of you already know, but I've been working on a kinda non-profit idea for a while called "No Life Too Small"...see the blog here... you can get the main idea from the NLTS blog, but let me add a little more personal sidenote: I can't wait for this thing to take off and get officially started! I know that it will be such a blessing to me and I can only hope that it will be a blessing to those who are recipients of our efforts! So, I have a TON of flannel fabric in my house...like, bolts and bolts of flannel fabric!! It needs to be cut, washed and sewn into blankets that measure 18"x18" (a little big for a premie, but just the right size for premie OR full size baby :) Planning a sewing party soon so if you want to get involved and you can sew (only basic skills are necessary) let me know!! We need to make a lot of these little blankets in time to celebrate Zachary's birthday on October 26th....I can't believe it's already almost been two years! Did I mention that inside each blanket is a little handwritten prayer for the baby that receives the blanket?? That's my favorite part of it all!!!! So, check out the blog and email me if you want to help us sew!
Also, I've been looking for some "direction" in my life as far as careers blah, blah, blah.... Looked into going back to school and found out I was still a freshman (which was pretty sad if you ask me)... After some deliberation, I made the decision to pursue Wedding & Event Planning!! I'm pretty excited about it...although, also a little scared considering there was a financial investment to take the certification course, but mostly excited!! Can't wait to be self-employed, creative, organized and a snazzy dresser.... Do I have a dream in my head of being like Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner movie? Of course! I mean, she gets huge accounts, wears a fanny pack full of all the necessary equipment to make an event run seamlessly...and let's not forget the super awesome walkie talkie!!! My study books should be mailed out today and now it's an 8-10 business day wait....
Speaking of waiting...I'm getting awful good at it! We are still waiting for the news of Baby #2. Urgh! My dr in her medical wisdom thought it would be best to refer me to a specialist in the field so I'm currently in the overwhelming, anxiety inducing procedure of setting up additional tests and appointments. Have I ever mentioned that I hate doctors...and tests...and more importantly, examinations?!?! Not happy about not being able to see my dr and having to meet an entirely new person (why did I use the word "entirely" there? like I could meet a half of a person??...not changing it now) So, bottom line: I'm not excited at all about the extra "work" that is necessary, but will do anything to make it happen! Well, almost anything! Not looking for sextuplets....just one...or two....ok, and maybe three, but we'll see how it goes!
I keep trying to find lessons in my life and sometimes I feel like there is a TON, but really I come back to the same one and all the others are like mini-variations of the main lesson....GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ME! So, if the lessons of my life are set up in outline form, it would look like this :)
I. God Has A Plan For Me A. Trust His Plan B. Do Not Force My Plan C. My Plans Are Tentative D. Do Not Rush His Perfect Timing E. His Plan and His Timing are Perfect
Get it? There's no Roman numeral II...it's just more and more of Roman numeral I.
I might not be super excited about this plan that He's concocted for me at this point, but I know that His plan is PERFECT and I need to rejoice in the fact that He's in control of my future...because of this, I have a HOPE that is unwavering...even when I feel sick to my stomach and can't breathe :)
