hope unbroken...

"Jesus Christ is the same...

Yesterday,

Today,

and Forever."

the importance of patience

"practice patience"

"patience is a virtue"

this post is a sequel to my last post...i had to continue my thoughts about waiting because post-blogging i realized that there was a necessary element of waiting that i forgot to touch on:

patience

i hate that word...patience does not come easily to me...you can wait pretty easily because...well, there really isn't any other choice other than waiting...there's usually no control over whether to wait or not to wait....but to choose to wait patiently?...that's the part we have control over and that's the tricky part!

i realize that in the process of waiting, i have the opportunity to practice patience....but it's also exercising my ability to keep faith. last night MW said, "waiting is the lost art of faith"...and i couldn't agree more!

without patience, waiting is just an anxious-driven, neurotic checking of the calendar.....a stale attempt at faith.

waiting without patience is faith without virtue....therefore, not really faith at all.

the importance of waiting...

do you know that if you were to live for 65 years, you would spend a little more than half of that time waiting?!

it's no wonder i feel like i've been waiting for most of my life! maybe i'm getting all my waiting checked off the list before i get to mid-life.....my retirement years are gonna be awesome! i will get to the front of the line every time.....only green lights for me!....i will get what i want instantaneously!....

do you know that on average, we spend 8 hours of our lives just waiting at red lights??

we spend an average of 3 years just standing in line!!!!

how do you think life would change if we had instant gratification of every whimsical desire we had?? do you think we would be grateful as much for the fulfillment?? i doubt it...

there are so many things we wait for....

professional opportunities

prayers to be answered

soldiers to come home

babies to arrive

sickness to depart

bodies to be healed

homes to be sold

friday to come

good news to share

we basically have to wait for everything....and even though sometimes, it's really hard...doesn't the waiting make it more incredible?? once whatever you're waiting for happens, doesn't it make you so grateful because you desired it so much more?? while you're waiting, you can't imagine wanting anything more........and then, all of a sudden, you have it!!

is the wait worth it??!?!

i think so....i know so....

"when i think the best is yet to come, i smile"....and i wait for it.

lingo

welcome to my world....(that statement does not contradict my last post...it's just a saying...)

my DH and i began TTC 15AF's ago...the OB has a few pointers when starting out....stop taking BCP, start taking FA, track your BBT and CM, time your LO and then hopefully you will get a BFP when you POAS...unfortunately, for the last 15AF's, DH and I have only seen BFN. My OB referred me to an RE for IF. We are stocked up on OTC HPT's and EPT's and OPK's. The roller coaster starts over on CD1 when the RE orders BW to get my P4 checked...numerous U/S monitor the FP and the effects of FSH...(not to mention 2 uncomfortable HSG)...then to endure the dreadful 2ww. Thank goodness we don't have any other Dx...just AO...It could be worse. We could have multiple MF such as LSP...or i could have PCOS. We still have some options such as IUI, IVF and ICSI. Hopefully, the 15th COW since TTC will be lucky one! We would have an EDD and even be able to hear the FHR.

BTW, i understand that most of you won't understand this post...lucky you! OTOH, for all my FF who do understand this and can read it like a second language, FTTA...hope you get your BFP!!!

HIS world

How often do we act like as though we are, in some way, "inviting" God into OUR world??

we "make time" for God...

we "give Him credit" for creation...

we "include Him" in special events...

we "keep Him number one" in our lives....

The grandest invitation we've ever received is the one postmarked thousands of years ago when God chose to invite US into HIS world!

HE made time for US.

HE gave Himself credit when He said "it is good"...He doesn't need our stamp of approval.

HE made US for HIS pleasure...not our own.

HE is already part of every event...special or ordinary.

HE is ALREADY number one...He is the first and last...EVERYTHING starts and ends with HIM.

How thankful I am, that HE has invited us to partake of HIS world...may we not get so wrapped up in it that we lose sight of how spectacular that really is.

a day late...

...but i'm still thankful...

yesterday morning, nate and i had the opportunity to volunteer at the local rescue mission with some friends. one thing i overheard from one of the volunteers in reference to a mis-shapen piece of pie was, "beggars can't be choosers". when we got in the car, i started to tell nate, "Things you shouldn't say at a rescue mission..." and he finished my sentence by saying, "beggars can't be choosers"...so apparently this guy said it several times during our short two hour shift.

..."Beggars can't be choosers"...

hmm, that really bugged me. i realize that we are ALL one bad decision or one unfortunate turn of events away from also being "beggars".....i wonder if i could accept such a gift knowing the giver had the mentality, "beggars can't be choosers".

i was reminded of the passage in 2 Samuel 9 (read full chapter here), the story of Mephibosheth. David was annointed king and remembered and respected his friend, Jonathan. He asked, "Is there anyone still living from the family of Saul (Jonathan's father) that I can show kindness to?" A servant of his told him of Mephibosheth and he was invited to meet with David, the king. The story of Mephibosheth is a sad one....he was five years old when his nurse fell while holding him and he became crippled in both legs (2 Samuel 4:4)

when Mephibosheth met with David, he was rewarded with everything he would of had if his own father was king...he was just like one of David's very own sons. the verse that sticks out the most for me is, "What is your servant, that you should show regard for a dead dog such as i?"

he considered himself "a dead dog"...utterly humbled by the fact that he was offered an incredible new life of royalty....

just like Mephibosheth, there is a place for me at the King's table...i'm accepted with all my ailments and insecurities....i'm a a beggar, crippled by sin, but awarded a life as a child of The King...i'm a princess....

i'm thankful for my seat at His table...

i'm thankful that although "beggars can't be choosers", beggars can be CHOSEN!

more of Him...less of "you know who"

you know what? even if you think you are doing something that looks like God's Will, sounds like a God-thing, feels like it's from God.....doesn't mean that it wasn't completely calculated by my own will....i was thinking about how much i want to "do" stuff...i really want God to use me and all the things that have happened in my life...but what about the details? - i think i make them up all on my own...i never have a sense of settled determination...i find myself waiting, never putting my ideas into action.

two things come to mind:

1. what am i waiting for?

and...

2. maybe this isn't what God wants

if i was SURE of God's plan, would i be twiddling my thumbs in delay.....and if it's NOT what God wants then i need to know what He does want so i can be there...appropriately placed and available.

sometimes, i feel i interfere with the real plan that God has for me...i just need to get out of my own way...